A relationship that did not work out because

30. June 2015 af Maria Guldager

…both of us were focused on me.

He tended to me

I struggled with me

He served me

I broke up with me

That version of me

is no longer

neither our relationship.

… I only loved

the idea of loving him

what a beautiful idea

my ideas are what make me

so beautiful

they lift me off this earth

and into obsession

When I’m not looking

when foundation

has given up on me

I forcefully pull

the ideas out

from their sanctuary

in my mind

I put them into

action

and the beauty that once captivated me turns

into failure

into reality.

…. his insecurities

sparkled around my neck

a piece of fine jewellery

bought with my own

fantasy of reprogramming

my whole being

With my psychologist,

whom never said anything

that made sense

for more than two hours after,

I had the best relationship

until I finally found

somewhere else to go

someone else to trust

with the reminiscence

of whoever I am.

… I was in the way

of His love manifesting

itself in me

and through me

Now I say:

Restore me!

to the one who can

resurrect the dead

for the core of my longings

were never pure

never free of fears

yet they overtook

it all and I

went missing

missing out

missing love.

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